How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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