wrigley field is MILF paradise
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
