i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
