What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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