if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
