were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
