You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
