I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Randomize
