I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
