I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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