I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
