she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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