I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
