when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
so that wasnt chicken after all
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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