Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
There's always time for handjobs
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
