Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
