I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
