He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
