I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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