I feel great
I just peed on a car
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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