You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
vagina is talking i cant
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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