The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
