i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
