When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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