Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
