cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
