I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
