She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
