I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
