I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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