My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
