I think scott just propositioned me for sex
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
