she was so not down for the gang bang
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
