So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
