I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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