I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
