wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
