You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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