never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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