Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
