Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
