I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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