About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
