In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
