There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
