After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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