what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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