I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
