I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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