I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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