Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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