I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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