Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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