I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize