Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He better not be in your backpack
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
