See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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