I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
