I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
