her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
