The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
