his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
