I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
